A Question

Someone asked me a question.

A question that start with "if"

A question that I would not want to answer

A question that makes my heart sorrow

I answered, "I have never thought of it"

I can't recall whether I have thought of it or not

But I know what will my answer be

Though, I do not wish to answer that question

Will it truly take place?

How will it be?

My mind is filled with all these questions.

Searching hard

It is as if something is missing within me

And I am still wondering

What is that?

I am searching

Searching for something

Something that I truly needed

What is that?

I seem know.. but the other moment, I seem not knowing it

Argh.. stop those craps!

*searching for answer*

Have been having mild diarrhea for two days.. huhu.. What happened to my digestive system? *searching for answer*
This few days, I slept like usual. But my mind is unusual. It keeps operating even when I am "hibernating". I guess the CPU usage is up to 99%. It better stop operating that much. Else it gonna explode soon. STOP it! Any way that I can make it rest? huhu.. *searching for answer*

Finally, I end up searching hard.. lol~

Random thoughts @ 13th Oct 2010

The year 2010 will soon be over in less than two months time

This is the year that I have least expectations

but much has happened and took place

I looked back,

I see myself running and running

Hardly stopped to catch my breathe

I slowed down at times

but I pushed myself harder each time

trying to strive though it

trying to overcome it

trying to finsh the race

But now,

here I choose to stop

how long will it be?

who knows?

Or I should say,

I am trying to get back on the right track

crawling back to the track that belongs to me

I have lost my way

...

On one hand, I care

On the other hand, I hated to care

but I still care

what are those craps??

can't I just learn to let go?

Anyhow,

I am hoping for a fresh start..

God.. lead me!