Wednesday, October 20, 2010

A Question

Someone asked me a question.
A question that start with "if"
A question that I would not want to answer
A question that makes my heart sorrow

I answered, "I have never thought of it"
I can't recall whether I have thought of it or not
But I know what will my answer be
Though, I do not wish to answer that question

Will it truly take place?
How will it be?
My mind is filled with all these questions.


Saturday, October 16, 2010

Searching hard

It is as if something is missing within me
And I am still wondering
What is that?
I am searching
Searching for something
Something that I truly needed
What is that?
I seem know.. but the other moment, I seem not knowing it
Argh.. stop those craps!
*searching for answer*



Have been having mild diarrhea for two days.. huhu.. What happened to my digestive system? *searching for answer*
This few days, I slept like usual. But my mind is unusual. It keeps operating even when I am "hibernating". I guess the CPU usage is up to 99%. It better stop operating that much. Else it gonna explode soon. STOP it! Any way that I can make it rest? huhu.. *searching for answer*

Finally, I end up searching hard.. lol~

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Random thoughts @ 13th Oct 2010

The year 2010 will soon be over in less than two months time
This is the year that I have least expectations
but much has happened and took place

I looked back,
I see myself running and running
Hardly stopped to catch my breathe
I slowed down at times
but I pushed myself harder each time
trying to strive though it
trying to overcome it
trying to finsh the race

But now,
here I choose to stop
how long will it be?
who knows?
Or I should say,
I am trying to get back on the right track
crawling back to the track that belongs to me
I have lost my way
...

On one hand, I care
On the other hand, I hated to care
but I still care
what are those craps??
can't I just learn to let go?


Anyhow,
I am hoping for a fresh start..
God.. lead me!

Saturday, September 4, 2010

F.A.K.E.

In this world, it is not easy to find true friend.
Some seems to be good
but you never know what will they do to you at your back.
I hated those fake people~

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Crossroad

Recently I seem to back to this crossroad
Do not know which way to go
Should I continue on with the straight path 
or should I start a new journey on another path
Which is the path designed for me?

I have been observing
I have been wondering
I have been asking
But no respond

If I happen to choose another path
I have to face new things
People may just not understand
People may just condemn me for that decision
But who cares?

Lord, I truly needed your guidance
Show me your way
Both ways are just not easy

My family needed me
My mom yearns for me to go back
Is there anything left for me here?
It seems to be the time
But will it happen that way?
I am just so confused.. on which path to choose..

Waiting..

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

zipped

It is enough..
Just zipped it off..
Zipped and locked.. 
Till someone able to come and open it..
---

Monday, July 19, 2010

arghh~

I am so pissed off with those people that just so demanding.
They expected you to do everything and prepare everything
as if the things just belong to me
as if I am the only one using it.
Excuse me,
can't they just lend their hands to help out?

*Pissed off*

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Reflecting...

In the middle of the night,
I am sitting alone in the room,
looking straight to my laptop screen,
reflecting what had took place through year 2010

In fact, I did not usher into year 2010 with a high spirit
I lost hope, I have no direction
I have no idea what will be waiting for me
I even do not want to think about it.

Half the year will end soon
Just in this short six months,
I have gone through much

One of the thing that I hate to go through is saying goodbye
It is not easy to say goodbye
In just this few months time, 
some came in to live together in this ministry house
another went out to their destiny

In ministry, 
It is just indescribable with words
It is just hard to express what I truly feel about all that took place
Am I glad?
Am I sad?
Am I rejoicing?
Am I disappointed?
I have just no idea

Towards a moment, 
I do not know what I am truly feeling
Am I been hiding my feelings all this while?
Or is it too much until I do not know how to respond?

Recently I browse back those pictures that were taken ages ago
It reflects back those sweet and sour memories
How each of us have been changing all this while

Some continue on with the race
Some left
Some came back
Some bounce back
But some just could not catch up

Recently as I go back hometown
I will surely spend time with my nephew and niece
and of course my other family members as well
It feels so hard each time I was to leave the house
As if I needed to wake up from a sweet dream 
As if it is time for me to face the reality


The Bible mentioned that this is not an easy path
It is narrow
Not many will choose to walk in this path
Lord, strengthen me
The more I knew You,
the weaker I feel
and only then Your strength will be revealed much more in me

Show me Your way
Show me Your will
Let me walk in the will of You
Let me bring joy to You

I love the ending of a song named "爱是不保留"
The ending is
“我以决定今生再没所求,惟望得主称赞已足够“
 Nothing is much more meaningful than a single praise from God~

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

...

I really hate it
When you have to take all the blames
And no one is able to help you

And giving up is just a no-no
So what can I do?
Suffer..
Depress..
LOST!

Friday, April 2, 2010

as time goes by

As time goes by,
we are growing older in our age,
as well we are growing more mature in our mind.
And some of the things, 
we will just let it go.

As time goes by,
we are changed,
into another person.
Is it good or bad,
who is to judge?
Some will agree, others disagree.
But who cares,
All that has happened,
made me who I am today.

As time goes by,
much more decisions have been made.
Some we consider as good choices,
others we may regret.
But the truth is,
there is no use being regretful.
What is past, is history.
Tomorrow is a brand new day,
new decisions are to be made.

As time goes by,
it makes you realize that
you will never be able to catch back 
the time that has gone.
Every single second,
we are moving forward,
what you wanted to do,
what you wanted to say,
do and say it right now,
or it may be too late.
For time never wait for us.

Treasure every single moment that you have,
be careful of the things that you do,
be sensitive to the words that you utter out,
the little things may bring a great impact,
a single word can break a heart,
a single action can break a soul.
Do not follow just simply follow the emotion,
but think before you act and speak.

Treasure everyone that is right there beside you,
for you will never know when is the last moment,
or when is the next meeting.
Appreciate them as how you appreciate yourself,
love them as how you have loved yourself,
treat them as how you have treated yourself.
To build a relationship requires a long period,
but a second is enough to break it into two.

Anyhow, never regret but continue to look forward.

Monday, March 29, 2010

BomB

A: If you are always being bombed, eventually your bulletproof shirt will be better. And you won't be scared of any bombing anymore.

B: But still the bomb will be able to bomb you to death.

And the laughter fills the air... =_=!!

Mighty to save by Hillsong

Love the lyrics of this song.. Everyone needed the forgiveness of our Savior.






Mighty To Save

Everyone needs compassion,
Love thats never failing
Let mercy fall on me

Well everyone needs forgiveness,
Kindness of a savior
The Hope of the nation

(Chorus)
Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is mighty to save,
He is mighty to save
Forever, author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again

I give my life to follow
Everything that i believe in
Now i surrender (and i surrender)

(Chorusx2)

Shine your light and let the whole world see
We're singing, for the glory of the risen king, Jesus
Shine your light and let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory of the risen king, Jesus

(Chorusx2)

Shine your light and let the whole world see
We're singing, for the glory of the risen king, Jesus
Shine your light and let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory of the risen king, Jesus

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Center of my life



Center of My Life

Let my walk speak loud
And my words be true
Let my life be whole
With my eyes on you
Lord I'm stepping out
From the comfort zone
Letting go of me,
Holding onto You

Freedom comes
When I call You Lord
You are Lord my God

You are the center of it all,
The universe declares in awe
Your majesty
I surrender all
I make you
The center of my life
Lord, I respond with all I am
you placed in me the song
Of heavens melody
Your Majesty
I live to sing Your song

I have found Your peace
It replaces any fear
You have done it all
I can trust in you
So I'm stepping out
From the comfort zone
Letting go of me
Holding onto you

This is your song not mine
It is your song that bring healing to this land
This is your song not mine
It is your song that brings freedom
Freedom comes, when I call you Lord
Freedom comes, when I call you Lord
You are Lord, my God
You are the song
You are the majesty
I live to sing your song
Your majesty
I live to sing Your song

Friday, March 26, 2010

First Quarter 2010

I believe at the beginning of the year 2010, everyone started it with new year resolutions. This year, I did not make any, for I have no idea of what to aim for. 

Below is the brief of my first quarter of year 2010

January 2010
Trying to start afresh. Hoping for the best. Was in a new environment. Hoping things will turn out to be good. Trying to look positively in each things. However, January ended in a low mood.

February 2010
CNY. Went back to hometown. Meet family, relatives and friends. Went for BC. Got to know something that made me disappointed. Ended that way.

March 2010
Trying to resolve things. Ended a job and ventured into another new thing. Trying to do much, but less is done. No one understand. No one cares. No one bother. And March gonna end soon.

April is coming. Soon May, June and then will come to Dec 2010. Year 2010 should not just be another year. It should be a memorable year. Yet, things still going another way. 

 What's next?

I'm totally LOST!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

*pop*

I feel like exploding..
Those feeling from inside gonna burst out..
And I wonder how many will suffer for it..
Arghh~
Feel like shouting out loud..
I am gonna explode from within...

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Lost of excitement

Where has it gone?
The excitement that she used to have?
She does not find it funny anymore
There is no smile
There is no sound of laughing
But a deep and long silentness

There is just much in her mind
Which she is not able to speak out
and not able to truly write it out
All is flashing through her mind all the time
A restless mind she has
It is such a torture

Surrounding sounds are disturbing to her
She only long to have a silent night
A quiet morning
Where everyone else is sleeping
Where the world seems so peaceful
Which bring peace to her mind
That is what she longs for
That is what she needed most
Out of the "busi-ness" of the world
Out of those harsh reality of the world
Just getting out of it all

She is getting lost
Does not know how to get back to her feet
Does not know how to start it all over again
Does not know which path to go
Totally lost~