Waiting...

This is just a random post.


I am in the midst of wondering. Wonder what should I do and how should I help out.


I loved and still loving them. But it seems that it is hard to really show them. The way I am showing my love may not be how they wanted it. I really wish to see that they will grow, they will understand, all that we are doing for them, all that we requested them to do.


Once, I asked, "Will you be joining the activity?" in a soft voice and the answer was "WHY??!!". I asked again and the same respond that I received. What's wrong with my question that I deserved that kind of answer and respond?


I am tired. Everything seems to be broken here and there. Relationship broken. Communication breakdown. Etc.... How should I put back everything to its place? And when they have problems, I am the one have to solve it. Never think of solving it themselves. Never think that it is not easy for me as well.


Sigh.. Is it better for me to leave the place, so that they can grow themselves and I need not have to be so mentally tortured. But I do not want to leave because I am facing challenges. I want to fulfill my responsibilities.


I am falling, but I still hold on to You. Waiting for You to bring me high, like eagles soaring high on its wings. I want to rest in You, dwelling in Your wonderful presence. Lying down on the green pastures. Enjoying Your peace. Filled by Your love and hope.


I am still waiting...